Welcome Back!

It’s been raining cats and dogs for days and days.  Water is everywhere.  It puts me back into that winter hibernation mode.  The type of weather when you need a fire in the fireplace, a pot of soup on the stove, a glass of wine (optional) , a big cozy blanket, and good chick flick or an Oprah book.  That’s my idea of hibernation. 

I bumped into an old friend today.  She’s been divorced a few years.  I don’t know much about her situation but she expressed that she was glad to see me happy in my relationship and that she hoped to find someone nice like I had.  How sweet was that! I’ve spoken with a few other close women lately, too, who are in trying situations with their relationships.  It made me think back on those times when the separation/divorce piece was still fairly fresh.  Those were tough times.  How odd it is that some of us women try so hard to mend a relationship that we turn ourselves inside out and become something that we don’t even recognize…at least, that’s what I did.  I remember trying to do everything and to do it all perfectly…you know: “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never ever let you forget you’re a man…”  That was the mantra way back then.  Sheez!! No wonder my generation of women ended up this way!!

The best thing I learned over the many years that I was alone, is that I’m okay.  I’m okay by myself, on my own two feet, all alone.  Yes, financially it’s hard sometimes.  Making big decisions is very difficult on my own.  It is very lonely sometimes…when a couple invites you over and you’re not a couple.  Or a holiday comes and you’re wrapping presents by yourself or toasting yourself “Happy New Year” as the kids sleep through the ball drop.  Wedding showers are tough.  And being a bridesmaid is the worst.  But, the up side is on a rainy day, I can stay in my jammies and watch TV all day.  I can run out and buy an appetizer of Pepperidge Farm chocolate cake and peppercini’s and salami for dinner (my poor poor heart). Or I can have a "backwards day" where the kids and I stay in pajamas and eat cereal for dinner.  I don’t have to answer to anyone when I buy yet another pair of stacked sandals (they’re SOO cute!).  I just have to pay my own bills, make my mortgage and my car payment, get to work every day, and do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it. 

The beauty is, I take care of myself now, too.  Way back then, I went to the most wonderful therapist ever who helped me get back on my feet and who helped me to start finding myself again.  I went back to church, and found a lot of support spiritually.  And I surrounded myself with my women friends…the ones who were really a positive influence. Now I don’t have a therapist (although some days I should) and I haven’t been to church lately (which I promise to get back to), I still hang with the girls sometimes and I’ve added exercise to my regime (woo hoo!).  But overall, I’m more confident these days.  I’m happy in my own skin.  I like me.  And when I bumped into an old friend, Greg (my now boyfriend), I was ready for that next step.  The timing was right. 

Taking some time and space to be alone is really an awesome experience.  I highly recommend it.  I hope and pray for these female friends that they find their inner-woman and recognize themselves when they look in the mirror.  I hope they snuggle up under a blanket in their flannel pajamas with their favorite book in hand.  I hope they take solace in the peace and quiet of a gentle rainfall.  And that they truly stop and smell the roses (or lilacs…those are my favorite).  I pray for my women friends that they find their old beautiful selves and when they do, they give that girl a big welcome-back hug!

Welcome Back, Kotter

Theme Song

Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease [her] a lot cause we've got [her] on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.